the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
