hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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