He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
