Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize