Already got asked if we're dating
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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