plz talk dirty to me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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