She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
