I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize