so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize