mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
