Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
