and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
