Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
