I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
