I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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