i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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