all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
