I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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