its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
