Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
