that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
