so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I will be naked everywhere
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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