You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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