my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize