dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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