I hate all girls vehemently.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
