I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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