Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize