Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
