Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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