shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
