Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
