for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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