ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
