she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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