This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
