At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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