It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I AM VODKA MAN
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
