Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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