White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
