Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
