there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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