What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize