hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
