I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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