when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We are two peas in an std pod
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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