Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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