have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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