dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™