Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
