Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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