He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
