Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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