i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
