What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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